wanted to do a little bit o animation for old times sake.
here is a rough pencil test... who should he be slicing?
Disclaimer: this probably isn’t a very good recipe but it’s mine. Also, details of the recipe can be found in the tapas link below (if you wanna try it).
⭐’s Diary
i am older than google and youtube. stop advertising to me and stop spying on me. show your elders some respect
Millennial Sisyphus keeps entering all the information from his resume into the web form, only for it to delete everything when he tries to move to the next page. He just goes back and types it all up again, over and over again, forever, and he never gets a job.
Millennial Tantalus has been promised that his unpaid internship will become a paid position as soon as the company has space for him. Every week he sees their new job posting. Every week he asks his boss if he can have a real job. The boss shrugs apologetically and says he’ll just have to make do with being paid in experience a little longer. He goes back and keeps working, over and over again, forever, and he never reaches the fruits of his labors.
Millennial Persephone can’t get a job without a degree, but because she had to take out loans to pay for college, she must spend 1/3 of her life working just to pay them off.
Millennial Cassandra’s title is Social Media Coordinator, she was hired to be the expert, but every time she tries to explain the problems in her company’s social media decisionmaking, the managers don’t listen…and end up hiring expensive PR flacks to repair the damage to their reputation when things blow up exactly as she predicted.
Millennial Medusa uses multiple shades of primer and opaque foundation to cover the scars snaking across her face, hiding the bruises, aligning the asymmetry in her broken nose and jaw. Red matte on the lips, green shimmer on the lids. Flawless liner on the first try. She’s had lots and lots of practice. She films her transformation in secret for all to see and learn, and again, men are turned to anonymous stone faces screaming in horror. “Liar!” “Witch!” “Take her swimming on the first date!” These words do not discourage her. These words are a challenge. GlamGorgonXx posts another video.
Millennial Prometheus uploads another PDF to his site. He’s lost track of the printing and edition of this textbook. He knows they just rearranged some of chapters then charge 150 dollars per copy, and the professor wrote the book himself. the ZIP fills uploads successfully, and he starts uploading the next one. He isn’t afraid of the potential lawsuit. knowledge shouldn’t held out of reach like this.
Millennial Circe screenshots all the lewd messages she gets from men on online dating sites and posts them on her very popular Instagram along with their pictures and usernames. When people accuse her of attempting to destroy their reputations, she insists she’s just revealing them for the pigs they truly are.
Millennial Odysseus is starting to suspect there’s something wrong with his GPS…
did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness
#'i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion'#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different'#'this is my nightmare'
rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell
they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars
best part of this post is all the people with prosopagnosia confirming that they literally never questioned why the prince was incapable of hiring a sketch artist even in versions without masks/glamours
PLEASE click the link
Please, please, for the love of god, Click. The. Link.
Sorry, no search results for: “ethereal silk dress to wear as I run through the woods, that will drag across the forest floor and spiritually attract the deer and woodland creatures to me”
can you check in the back
Anonymous asked:
Where's the spirit essay jojo
arahir answered:
oh you mean the essay about how spirit untamed is legitimately the most evil thing i have ever seen and knowledge of its existence caused me to question whether humanity can truly be redeemed? you mean that essay? i need you to understand that i think dishing on children’s media is stupid. children, and young girls especially, are constantly derided for what they like. i’m not here to do that. likewise, i’m not here to dish on sequels and reboots. i love sequels and reboots. i even liked the hobbit movies. i have no taste and won’t attempt to force my taste on others. no. i’m here to say that spirit untamed is an unmitigated crime against both god and man in every way a piece of media can be because it attempts to build on the unparalleled masterpiece that came before it.
and i know i’m right. i’ve never been more right. what the fuck is spirit untamed, you ask? here’s a trailer. you’ll note they turned off comments. every official iteration of this has comments turned off. what i’m about to say in this essay is very much fellow-feeling for people of a certain age and they’ve made their thoughts explicitly clear basically everywhere this sequel film has been talked about. if you don’t want to watch the above trailer or can’t, it’s a cgi animated horse girl movie with all the horse girl accoutrements. she moves to a small town, she’s a little weird, she loves animals, she makes friends. presumably something bad is happening and she will fix it with horses and friendship. once again, i’m not here to dish on that. i love cgi and i’m a horse girl. i learned how to ride on a mustang. this is a movie about me. that’s fine. if this were the only spirit that had ever existed, it would be fine.
unfortunately, this is a sequel to a much better movie, 2002’s traditionally animated spirit: stallion of the cimmaron. when i say it’s a “better movie” i mean that i’m not totally sure two movies so different can exist in the same universe. because the 2002 movie was told from the perspective of the HORSE as voiced by MATT DAMON and it was literally about him SABOTAGING WESTWARD EXPANSION and FUCKING THE EVIL UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT and DESTROYING INDUSTRY.
there are exactly two relevant humans in the film: the colonel (he’s a colonel) and little creek (he’s a lakota boy who gets captured by the united states government along with spirit, the titular horse). i’ll let you guess who the bad guy is! no i won’t. it’s the united states government which is accurately depicted as an accessory of capitalist expansion west as represented by the railroad specifically, to the detriment of all things good. the first time we see anyone in uniform, they’re killing natives in an unproved massacre on a native village. shortly after, the colonel captures spirit, and then little creek after that. when the colonel sees little creek, he comments on his race in a way that is malicious and real, and then has him put not in the stockade but tied up where they tie unbroken horses, where they have tied spirit. the movie never attempts to sidestep what it’s depicting or saying. it says it plainly, in a way any child or adult can understand. it’s uncompromising.
honestly, i’m kind of shocked this movie hasn’t entered into the modern sphere of discourse a little more. maybe it’s because it’s unimpeachable. no one can disagree that it’s visually one of the most beautiful animated movies out there. no one can disagree with the message, because it’s so simple and true: yes, the government destroyed native populations. yes, it existed largely as an arm of capitalism to aid westward expansion at the expense of native populations and the land itself. the dichotomy of good and evil is so clear in this one and the evil is american.
this is the climactic scene:
spirit–who has just destroyed the railroad with little creek’s help–tries to escape the actual literal united states government who are trying to actually kill this horse and this lakota boy with actual guns. i think little creek actually gets shot, but not fatally. they escape together by jumping across a canyon, solidifying the eagle symbolism that the movie used repeatedly as a metaphor for freedom and the spirit of the west, but the west-west. like the actual land in the west. not whatever texas thinks it is. it ends with little creek letting spirit go (this scene apparently still makes me cry 20 years later so JOT that down) along with his own horse so they can go live in horseful peace in the (titular) cimarron, which in this movie is an effective stand-in for the unmolested west–though the area depicted is largely a fantasy mishmash of various areas.
full stop i’m a emotionally compromised about any discussion of the american west and history. it’s been most of my life and the depth and nuance is endless. we could examine the rights and the wrongs of the national park system, of preservation over conservation, over the drastic and continued and literal physical marginalization of native people and cultures. we can also get deep into wild horses in this area specifically today, how they’re rounded up, why, and where they ultimately end up. all the efficacy of that. i’ve been to more bureau of land management auctions than i can count, and even trained a few wild horses. i’m not going to get into any of that here. i just want you to know that this animated horse movie, with music by bryan adams and hans zimmer, is the closest thing we have had to a mainstream kid’s movie addressing any of it. any of the reality and any of the history.
it depicts the government sanctioned destruction of native populations, it shows how the “untouched” west was actually very much touched by native populations prior to industrial expansion west but not in a way that destroyed those areas, it critiques the very concept of taming the west, and it shows that manifest destiny and westward expansion as represented in the movie by the railroad had a very real toll on nature in and of itself and required vast fucking resources to accomplish. it even shows that they were really shitty to horses in the old west. and again, not to harp on it, but it absolutely 100% is the only mainstream animated film that shows an unprovoked massacre of a native village by the government. and it did all this no exposition, almost no dialogue at all. it just puts it on screen in stunning animation. i dare any studio to even attempt a movie like this today. no one would even try.
NATURALLY, THIS GIVEN, I WOULD FEEL SOME RESERVATIONS ABOUT A CUTESY SEQUEL WHERE SPIRIT IS LITERALLY TAMED BY THE DAUGHTER OF THE RAILROAD OWNER.
